Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior

I reread George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior, which a young Washington copied for personal use. According to Wikipedia, the instructions date back to the 16th century. Most of the maxims, except for two or three, apply today.

Some are quite clearly true: “In the presence of others sing not to yourself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.”

Some are humorous: “Do not laugh too much or too loud in public.”

Others are consequential, and for those who desire to lead. “Let your countenance be pleasant, but in serious matters somewhat grave.” “Let thy carriage be such as becomes a man: grave, settled, and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others say.” And “Think before you speak; pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly & distinctly.”

Toward the end, the maxims help make others comfortable in your presence. This has the added benefit of giving one confidence in social settings. “Be not forward but friendly and courteous; be the first to salute, hear, and answer; & be not pensive when it’s time to converse.”

The most critical maxims deal with justice toward others. “Detract not from others; neither be excessive in commanding.” “Strive not with superiors in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.”

While behavior like this has become a lost art, it is of timeless importance. The behavior requires acting with kindness and grace. I recommend the book to high school students. The maxims can be read in a single sitting. Their brevity and proverb-like construction make them memorable and enjoyable.